Episode 14: Welcome back to the Coaching Closet, I'm your host Richele Batt. I am so excited to share with you my guest today, Rex Romander. Rex went from a high school dropout to graduating with honors and becoming one of two commencement speakers for his University’s graduating class, speaking about “overcoming adversity”. He played four years of college football and two years of college basketball and went on to earn his Master’s in administration degree. A single father of four children, Rex has been heavily invested in their lives as well as heavily invested in coaching and teaching children in his community. In addition to teaching and coaching for the past 18 years, Rex is a life coach, sharing his wisdom and life experiences to help successfully guide others on their journeys.
Ready? Listen in...
• I remember I didn't want the divorce, and so I started in, how could I try to change her mind? What could I do to make her not want to go through with the divorce? And so I was like, Well, maybe if I had her read a book. So I started researching all these books and I found one that I liked online and it had a newsletter I could subscribe to. So I subscribed to it in the very first email I get says, do not purchase this book with the intent to have your partner read it... And I was like, Oh my gosh, I was totally being manipulative, it totally busted me in that process of it, and so of course, now I got to purchase the book, so I purchased this book and I'm reading through it in about chapter three or four really started to hit home with stuff that we had gone through as a couple in our relationship, and I can remember I actually had two highlighters and I had a yellow one for her, so when I'm reading, it is something she did. Of course, you're mad at this time too, so it's like, Oh, that's totally hurt. Right? And you're highlighting it. Yeah, I had an orange one for myself, and so that was me. I was like, Okay, I'm guilty of that. That's me, and so I would highlight it. And by the time I got down at the end of the book, what I realized there was more orange than yellow, and it started to do really make you realize like, Man, there's so many things I didn't do in this relationship that I should have. (05:07)
• Honestly, even from teaching and coaching other people's kids and to raising your own kids, there's so many things that come into all of that and the relationships teaches you a lot... There are so many things that would be hard, honestly, to pinpoint any one thing in particular, I would definitely say probably kids more than anything else as far as... Because there's so many aspects of how do I want my daughter to be treated, what do I expect of my son to treat a young lady at the other end of that understanding being a parent, the frustrations, and it's like the greatest thing I've ever done in my life. I get the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. So yeah, probably more so kids than anything, but I'm teaching other people's kids, other people's kids for so long, and in every relationship seems like you learn something new too, so...right, I think it's awesome. (9:20)
• Well, the biggest problem I know is this, nobody ever wants to commit because there's so many options... Right? It's funny because everybody has an option A, there's like... That's the person I would love to be with. And so they always have an option B or an option C, maybe even an option D, if they're really bored. But they never commit, you don't want to commit to oprion B, that might be perfect for you, might be a great guy, because they're holding out. Because what if I commit to option B and I'm not going to be available, and I don't want to commit to B when I still want A. (15:56)
• If you could give a message to the world, what would it be like, what would your message to the world be? The biggest one I honestly, as mental health, I actually, I made a post about it today, the things that we show people on our social media are the things that we're proud of and that we like about ourselves, the things that we don't show people on our social media, the things that we don't like about ourselves or that were embarrassed of. That's the things that we either have to work to improve on, or those are things that we have to learn to love about ourselves and embrace about ourselves, because that's really where mental health is, where struggle with who we are as someone, and typically that's our flaws. Typically the things that we don't like about ourselves, we always have certain things that we may like about ourselves, but there's a lot of aspects that we don't... Especially when we're younger and learning to understand, it's one of the things I talk to our kids about is, you can't be anybody else. I'm only as tall as I can be, I'm only whatever. I'm as fast as I can be, I can't do anything different. Someone is going to be taller, somebody is ging to be stronger, somebody's going to be fast, or somebody's going to be pretty, or something is going to be whatever else it is, and you can't be them, and that's okay. But what you can be is the very best version of you. (20:15)
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